Well it's only 6 days til Ty and I move out of my unit and I'm feeling quite sad. This unit represents a significant time and place in my life. When I first moved in I was so scared. At the age of 30 I had never lived alone before. I went straight from moving into living with my parents to living with Adam when we got married. When Adam and I split up it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. The term "heart break" is so true I felt like literally my heart was breaking. The night I found out that he had been having an affair was traumatic. I remember not being able to breathe and going into shock. Then later that night crying like a child while Phan held me in his arms like I was five again. I was so blessed to have my friends Chi and Mitch, Phan and Clara and my whole family take care of me.
When I moved into this unit I had to learn alot about myself. I had to learn that it was okay to be alone and to be comfortable in my skin. I remember going to my parents place for dinner and seeing Phan leave with Beth and Clara and feeling so alone. Knowing I had to go back to an empty unit where there was no one to be excited that I was home. Jessie my dog was a godsend in those days she kept me happy and wanting to go on. I would be lying if I didn't admit that I had contemplated ending it all. But knowing how much that would hurt my family I had to be strong.
Over the next few months I became a person I never thought I could be. I lost 10 kilos from the stress but it was a good thing. I started to excel in my job and eventually even got a promotion from it. I won the respect of my parents who were amazed at how strong a woman I had become. When life throws obstacles at you, you amaze yourself at how much you can take on. Living in this unit on my own made me realise that I can do and achieve anything I set my mind too. My life has been extremely hard and some things are too personal to mention on this blog. But when I think that I have been dealt a rough hand, I remember that I have so much to be thankful for.
I'm thankful for my niece Beth who is the love of my life. Seeing her smile warms my heart. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love her. I'm thankful for Phan and Clara, I admire their strength, kindness and loyalty. I'm thankful for my parents who have stood by me through everything. I'm thankful for Phong and Phi who always make me laugh with their silliness and teasing. I'm thankful for my friends who have stood by me throught thick and thin without judgement only support especially Chi and Mitch. And I'm thankful for Ty. Sometimes you have to have your heartbroken to realise that your soulmate is out there. Ty I love you so much and can't wait to start our new life together in 6 days.
I know this blog has been quite sad and raw. And even as I type I feel sad about the past but excited about the future.
"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much" Mother Teresa.
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3 comments:
Just wanted to give you big *hugs*... A new page is turning over in your life and I'm just glad that you are now happy... You deserve to be happy. Always here for you sis. Clara xo
Oh Baoey, that was a special blog and thank you for sharing. Wishing you guys heaps of happiness in your new lives together. Not long to go!
You are such a beautiful soul Anh, and I believe this is a reflection of who your friends and family are. You are all very lucky to have each other, and I am very privileged to be a part of that now :)
For most of my adult life I had been searching for that special person; that one I can truly say is my best friend and my soul-mate. Most of my friends had found their lifetime partners and were happily starting families. Up until meeting you, I had felt that all was lost, and I may be better off being on my own...
You have opened my eyes and proven that beauty can be seen in the most simplest of things. I now know what it is like to feel loved and appreciated and the love, support and understanding you continue to show me is truly amazing. For once in my life, I live each day without expecting it to end and I hope that I can make you feel as special.
We have the rest of our lives to look forward to, and while it is impossible to predict what the world has in store for us, it's comforting to know I will have you with me through the thick and thin.
I love you with all my heart baby...
G.T. xox
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